tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post3131210753048635847..comments2024-03-26T00:10:40.751-04:00Comments on Reggie Darling: Reggie's Rules for Dining in Better Restaurants, Part IReggie Darlinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04044215790585354363noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-39840874623677922082012-11-30T00:56:59.579-05:002012-11-30T00:56:59.579-05:00Hello Magpie: Thank you for your comment. There ...Hello Magpie: Thank you for your comment. There is little worse than a condescending waiter. The misery of enduring one can ruin an otherwise (mostly) pleasant evening! I find that one has the last laugh, however, when it comes time to tip them. Also, a pointed critique of said waiter to the maitre 'd is not out of place. Rgds, ReggieReggie Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04044215790585354363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-47867659031129286442012-11-29T19:30:00.306-05:002012-11-29T19:30:00.306-05:00Reggie, this post was such a pleasure. You probabl...Reggie, this post was such a pleasure. You probably won't even notice the comment, it's so old--but I had to say thanks. It brings back memories of dining out with loved ones in fine establishments with good service... But it also recalls, equally, times when service has been appalling. I don't mean little crusty neighborhood joints--I find those tend to be at least good-humored and well-intentioned, if not up to (or interested in) etiquette--and really that's all one needs; at base etiquette is just an approximation of good intentions. <br /><br />What's terrible, really, is hopped-up "fine dining" in mediocre hotel restaurants or on cruises, where snooty waiters make a show of correcting diners (!) on how their silverware should be placed, or on the pronunciation of drinks or food. Good grief. If it weren't for my beloved but increasingly geriatric grandparents (who are excessively fond of both cruises and bad hotel restaurants), I'd happily never set foot in either again. I wish I could make every "fine dining" waiter read it, in the hope that they stop volunteering condescending misinformation.magpiehttp://anothermagie.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-30928294211593430082012-11-23T10:04:22.594-05:002012-11-23T10:04:22.594-05:00I was a student ambassador when attending universi...I was a student ambassador when attending university and we had to learn a lot of etiquette rules. There is one I can't quite remember nor can I find anywhere: what is the proper placement of cutlery if one is dissatisfied with the service? Maybe upside-down and crossed? Any info on this?<br />Thanks- Paige in Louisville, KentuckyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-52672393331911699882011-12-25T20:39:58.080-05:002011-12-25T20:39:58.080-05:00I adored this post! It drives me insane when wait...I adored this post! It drives me insane when waiters remove plates when everyone isn't finished. And I get so upset when my husband doesn't stop them! I am forwarding this to him right now!!<br /><br />and the Clothes......Lord have mercy!<br /><br />We are living in "Inner Slobbovia"; or "Outer Slobbovia" predicted 60 years ago by Al Capp! He was the author of the wonderful comic strip "Li'l Abner! <br /><br />People wearing cargo shorts, athletic shoes and flip flops out to dinner in lovely restaurants! And baseball hats on backwards!!!<br />It makes me want to scream and cause a scene; but Reggie says no.<br /><br /> What Al Capp really was ,was a sociologist! Or cultural anthropologist! He seriously nailed so many archetypes. Slobbovia is now where we all live! <br /><br />Here is a new low: at the beautiful little Episcopal Church in Montecito; some children of acquaintances were dressed in t-shirts, flip flops, and shorts!!! On Christmas eve!!! (and they were not even clean!!!)<br /><br />Someone commented on these children; and another acquaintance said..."Oh, those kids are 'feral'!!!"<br /><br /> It is so clearly the parents' fault; I actually feel sorry for the children; but no one will for long as they grow up! <br /><br />Dreadful!!! No standards, no respect!<br /><br />I sound like my Grandmother! "the world is going to hell in a hand basket!" <br />Reggie!! Keep it up! I will buy 300 of your books!<br /><br />ps thanks for the flatware code........I am going to pass that around! I am printing it out for our club manager.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-51798249796220637572011-12-01T00:00:24.085-05:002011-12-01T00:00:24.085-05:00This is really a very good post. I especially, lik...This is really a very good post. I especially, like the part about being kind and curious to the staff. There is nothing worse than showing poor class, by talking down to a waiter. Every person in this world is important. I also agree with the part about wearing the right cloths. Manors these days are rarer and rarer to find. Thanks!Christopher Spitzmillernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-11156866313659785102011-07-05T17:33:57.167-04:002011-07-05T17:33:57.167-04:00I agree with all of these rules. I was dining at a...I agree with all of these rules. I was dining at a better restaurants last week with some friends and family. I looked down the table to add to the conversation, then turned back to my plate to finish my food only to see that it had been removed by a very, very quiet busboy. <br /><br />It is annoying when the staff try to remove empty plates before everyone is finished with their meal, it is just plain wrong to remove a plate that still has food on it! I've decided that that particular busboy should be required to wear bells.<br /><br />Count me as 1 of the 3 who would buy your etiquette book if you wrote it, but I would buy at least 3 copies!Emmaleigh504https://www.blogger.com/profile/14500580959038472055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-12329951417898362732011-07-04T19:32:04.679-04:002011-07-04T19:32:04.679-04:00I love the part about appropriate clothes. You use...I love the part about appropriate clothes. You used to be able to say, "Something you would wear to church is fine for a nice restaurant," but as I have seen cargo shorts, pajama bottoms, and Crocs at Mass (God might not care, but I do), that advice no longer applies.<br /><br />I would also add, although your readers would never be caught dead doing this, that texting, talking on the cellphone, or otherwise engaging in electronic communication while at the table is rather rude.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-16931980818626554382011-07-02T08:37:08.918-04:002011-07-02T08:37:08.918-04:00Quintessence: Yes, as you and DED note, it is a ra...Quintessence: Yes, as you and DED note, it is a rare busboy indeed who understands the differences that one's cutlery placement means, or is intended to convey. That is why I added point (b) which is to inform such person when they (still) attempt to remove one's plate that one has not yet finished (even though it is obvious that one has), to prevent them from doing so. It is even more maddening, though, when they come back several more times to attempt to remove one's plate before the rest of the table has finished eating!<br /><br />Anon 10:06: Thank you, the thought has crossed my mind...until I acknowledge to myself in the cold light of day that I would be lucky if even three people would buy it.<br /><br />Laurent: Not exactly sure what you mean by this comment (and I am saddened you felt compelled to remove your initial one), but my intention was anything but an insulting one. My apologies if it has been taken that way, sir.Reggie Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04044215790585354363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-73585114357471034752011-07-02T08:27:19.100-04:002011-07-02T08:27:19.100-04:00DED: It is maddening to dine with friends who are...DED: It is maddening to dine with friends who are stingey (sp?) when it comes time to split a bill or when tipping. It is, in fact, a personal pet peeve of mine, since I am (usually) the one who ends up making up the shortfall. When I once confronted an acquaintance of mine why he did not put in his fair share when it came time to divvy up a bill, he said he didn't do so because he didn't find the meal "worth it." Needless to say those of us at the table (this is when I was young and went out to eat with a gang of friends) shouted at him and made him cough up the extra couple of dollars, which he did so reluctantly and complainingly!Reggie Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04044215790585354363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-18212838243914339162011-07-02T08:08:30.014-04:002011-07-02T08:08:30.014-04:00LizaE: Thank you for your comment. Yes, one of th...LizaE: Thank you for your comment. Yes, one of the objections that one has when plates are removed before all are finished eating is that it gives the appearance to those who have not of being rushed, which is unpleasant indeed. And to add insult of a too-eager presentation of one's bill to that injury is too much to tolerate, as you rightly point out. Thank you.<br /><br />Stephanie: Your are correct: one should be courteous and expect courtesy wherever one is, whether lofty or low. Manners know no boundaries. Or at least shouldn't! Thank you.<br /><br />TDC: Thank you for the amusing story of your client. It sounds like he knew his wife well, and understood how to turn what some would find a maddening habit of hers to his advantage.<br /><br />Thomas: Thank you for your question. When dining in restaurants (or other public establishments, such as one's club) at the end of the meal one leaves one's napkin on the table to the left of one's plate (if it has not yet been cleared) or at one's place (if it has). The napkin should not be folded, but rather left undone (but not in a wad or a ball as you note). When dining in one's or others' houses (i.e., privately) one leaves one's napkin on the table, as above, but folded, rather than loose. That is, unless one is drunk, and then one can't really remember how one left it, or recall how it is that said napkin wound up in one's pocket the next morning! <br /><br />Pigtown Design: Yes, that is maddening, isn't it?<br /><br />Parnassas: Yes, I agree--as does Stephanie as you will note.<br /><br />Anon 5:17: I believe you may be referring to Laurent's initial comment, since (sadly) removed by the author. Laurent is one of the more interesting and erudite voices on the blogosphere, where he graces his readers with his named authorship, unlike those who leave snarky comments under the veil of anonymity.Reggie Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04044215790585354363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-29320002969585784212011-07-02T02:58:30.734-04:002011-07-02T02:58:30.734-04:00I've always cherished your hospitality to insu...I've always cherished your hospitality to insult.Laurenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17972899387484460347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-31181738232886558372011-07-01T11:59:52.502-04:002011-07-01T11:59:52.502-04:00I especially like the knife and fork placement sig...I especially like the knife and fork placement signals. Great post!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.yearoldbirthdaypartyideas.com" rel="nofollow">Year Old Birthday Party Ideas</a>Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05623997755872619767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-52208440176853062682011-07-01T10:06:55.913-04:002011-07-01T10:06:55.913-04:00Elizabeth Post is no longer with us, Reggie, and t...Elizabeth Post is no longer with us, Reggie, and there are no good books of etiquette; you should write one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-27243688956283233322011-06-30T19:01:44.562-04:002011-06-30T19:01:44.562-04:00Couldn't agree with you more although I would ...Couldn't agree with you more although I would guess that there are busboys and perhaps waiters in even the nicer establishments who wouldn't recognize the significance of the cutlery symbols in number 8! Can't tell you how many times my plate has attempted to be removed prematurely!!quintessencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14484326999396839391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-54159273408654702282011-06-30T18:19:26.082-04:002011-06-30T18:19:26.082-04:00A friend, delightful in many ways, but hell to din...A friend, delightful in many ways, but hell to dine out with, was just here for a visit. I try to avoid dining out with him at all costs, but he was insistent that we must, to repay my hospitality. When out with this friend, I make a point of having a few extra bills in my pocket to sneak onto the table ('oh, I've forgotten my jacket, I must go back and get it') because it is such a point of honor with him to figure out as small a tip as possible. If karmic retribution is a real thing, at least I can take comfort in knowing that he will come back as a waiter in his next life.<br /><br />I always smile as I place my flatware appropriately to my stage of completion, knowing that not one waiter in twenty, in any level of establishment even has a clue that it means anything---but nice try.The Down East Dilettantehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13950254669198151850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-64174860588426867962011-06-30T17:17:39.853-04:002011-06-30T17:17:39.853-04:00Laurent, methinks you're trying too hard.Laurent, methinks you're trying too hard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-54267895223786058472011-06-30T17:13:59.453-04:002011-06-30T17:13:59.453-04:00Come to think of it, this set of rules, especially...Come to think of it, this set of rules, especially as stated, is a good idea for all restaurants.Parnassushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08958901307538141468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-23022010434247082902011-06-30T16:57:10.099-04:002011-06-30T16:57:10.099-04:00Incredibly salient points and rules from top of li...Incredibly salient points and rules from top of list to the bottom...particularly rule about dressing appropriately and treating staff with courtesy. <br />Another great post Sir!~Main Line Sportsmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11303248738216839079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-41022399384345280042011-06-30T16:10:15.106-04:002011-06-30T16:10:15.106-04:00My biggest peeve is wait-staff, and I am referring...My biggest peeve is wait-staff, and I am referring to staff of mid-range places, who ask if you're still "working" on that... I am sorry, I don't work on my food, thanks.pigtown*designhttp://www.pigtown-design.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-78170666260789085292011-06-30T14:43:09.376-04:002011-06-30T14:43:09.376-04:00Wow hard to follow up the comment from Laurent, bu...Wow hard to follow up the comment from Laurent, but... Maybe Reggie could include a sentence or two on the placement of one's napkin at the end of the meal- I am constantly amazed to see the creative things diners do with their napkins- A big wad in the center of the table, a wad in the center of the plate or my favorite , which never grows old, unfolded and draped over the plate giving the impression that something has died on the plate and one is waiting for the coroner-Thomasnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-79340864694899018432011-06-30T13:22:24.085-04:002011-06-30T13:22:24.085-04:00Reggie, I could not be more in agreement. I am su...Reggie, I could not be more in agreement. I am surprised at the number of restaurants that take plates away as soon as an individual is finished, perhaps assuming that is a sign of good service. As I am a slow eater - and talker - I am often the last finished, so it has been difficult to keep all the other plates in the table.<br /><br />You might be amused by a dear former client who always discreetly signaled to be directly led to the "worst" available table when dining out with his wife. She always refused the first table offered, no matter what, so it allowed the husband to then suggest the table he actually wanted in the first place.The Devoted Classicisthttp://tdclassicist.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-20947220375177848992011-06-30T11:42:54.705-04:002011-06-30T11:42:54.705-04:00I think these rules will serve well in any restaur...I think these rules will serve well in any restaurant, not just the more formal/elegant ones. A little courtesy goes a long way to making the experience more pleasant for everyone. Looking forward to more in this series.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08026642983521186196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-5762010162427393212011-06-30T11:36:10.262-04:002011-06-30T11:36:10.262-04:00Excellent post. I especially like the knife and fo...Excellent post. I especially like the knife and fork placement signals.Tess Kincaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04889725786678984293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-11030976708755492262011-06-30T11:26:24.002-04:002011-06-30T11:26:24.002-04:00Excellent Reggie. I always feel when the server wa...Excellent Reggie. I always feel when the server wants to clear the plates early, we are being rushed and then the other diner(s) feel hurried.<br /><br />I won't even start on the dress attire I have seen!<br /><br />xoxo<br />Karena<br />Art by KarenaKarenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05206642885608991170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8044541580633294348.post-26463330820272165602011-06-30T11:00:44.691-04:002011-06-30T11:00:44.691-04:00Good Morning, Reggie. As I would expect, you are a...Good Morning, Reggie. As I would expect, you are absolutely on the mark. Number eight, the removal of plates before everyone at table is finished, is a particular dislike of mine.Bluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07652670896513329236noreply@blogger.com