Reggie's Independence

Today, July 4th, is a very special day for me, Dear Reader.  It marks Independence Day, one of the most important holidays of this Nation.  And it is also the day that I married, three years ago, my most beloved spouse, Boy Fenwick.

My grandfather's wedding ring
My father's wedding ring
My wedding ring

Today is our anniversary.

I never thought that I would marry.  I never thought that I would be able to marry.  That is, unless it was a marriage of convenience or "mariage blanc," an option I never considered seriously.  I am what was once referred to as "not the marrying kind," with a cynical wink and a knowing smile.

Well, no longer, thank you very much.

Something happened in this country that I never would have imagined possible, that people of "my kind" would be accorded, at least in some enlightened states, the right to marry spouses of the same sex.  Incredible, yes, but true.

And for those of us who thought that we would always be the ones left on the outside, as I did, always looking in as an outsider at the honeyed inner circle of those whose relationships were sanctioned and approved of under the bands of matrimony, unlike mine, it was a dream come true.

A slightly weird dream—I must admit—because even to this day I'm still somewhat surprised that I married a guy instead of a gal.  But I did, and I am most grateful that I was able to, and proud that I did.

A bas relief of George Washington
surmounted by the American flag
at Darlington House

Boy and I were married by a Justice of the Peace in Massachusetts three years ago today with our closest friends George Pinckney, Jasper Lambert, Francesca Montmore, and Hazel Hazaga at our sides.  Afterwards we repaired to Darlington House and celebrated the blessed union with a lobster dinner and an impromptu dance party that lasted into the wee hours of the night.

Boy and I chose to marry on Independence Day, Dear Reader, because of its significance as the day when our Founding Fathers declared our fledgling Nation's independence from the tyranny of Mother England.  Just as our own marriage declared, I believe, Boy's and my independence from the tyranny and oppression from the world that once told us that we did not, would never have, and were not worthy of the same right to marriage as our own brothers and sisters, and our own fathers and mothers.

2012 Macy's fireworks display
Image courtesy of bestofnj.com

I also chose this day to marry, Dear Reader, because I knew that the rest of our Nation would always join me each and every year on my anniversary, whether they realized it or appreciated it or not, with a joyous explosion of fireworks on every shore, village green, and byway in celebration and recognition that we all live here in the United States of America as one Nation, united with liberty and justice for all.

God bless America.

Photographs, unless noted, by Boy Fenwick