Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Reggie's Independence

Today, July 4th, is a very special day for me, Dear Reader.  It marks Independence Day, one of the most important holidays of this Nation.  And it is also the day that I married, three years ago, my most beloved spouse, Boy Fenwick.

My grandfather's wedding ring
My father's wedding ring
My wedding ring

Today is our anniversary.

I never thought that I would marry.  I never thought that I would be able to marry.  That is, unless it was a marriage of convenience or "mariage blanc," an option I never considered seriously.  I am what was once referred to as "not the marrying kind," with a cynical wink and a knowing smile.

Well, no longer, thank you very much.

Something happened in this country that I never would have imagined possible, that people of "my kind" would be accorded, at least in some enlightened states, the right to marry spouses of the same sex.  Incredible, yes, but true.

And for those of us who thought that we would always be the ones left on the outside, as I did, always looking in as an outsider at the honeyed inner circle of those whose relationships were sanctioned and approved of under the bands of matrimony, unlike mine, it was a dream come true.

A slightly weird dream—I must admit—because even to this day I'm still somewhat surprised that I married a guy instead of a gal.  But I did, and I am most grateful that I was able to, and proud that I did.

A bas relief of George Washington
surmounted by the American flag
at Darlington House

Boy and I were married by a Justice of the Peace in Massachusetts three years ago today with our closest friends George Pinckney, Jasper Lambert, Francesca Montmore, and Hazel Hazaga at our sides.  Afterwards we repaired to Darlington House and celebrated the blessed union with a lobster dinner and an impromptu dance party that lasted into the wee hours of the night.

Boy and I chose to marry on Independence Day, Dear Reader, because of its significance as the day when our Founding Fathers declared our fledgling Nation's independence from the tyranny of Mother England.  Just as our own marriage declared, I believe, Boy's and my independence from the tyranny and oppression from the world that once told us that we did not, would never have, and were not worthy of the same right to marriage as our own brothers and sisters, and our own fathers and mothers.

2012 Macy's fireworks display
Image courtesy of bestofnj.com

I also chose this day to marry, Dear Reader, because I knew that the rest of our Nation would always join me each and every year on my anniversary, whether they realized it or appreciated it or not, with a joyous explosion of fireworks on every shore, village green, and byway in celebration and recognition that we all live here in the United States of America as one Nation, united with liberty and justice for all.

God bless America.

Photographs, unless noted, by Boy Fenwick

66 comments:

  1. God bless you both!! I have asked the Celt to marry me - he's thinking it over.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel your joy and wish you both a very merry and happy anniversary.
    many many more.
    pve

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy Anniversary, Reggie and Boy. Your life together has proven, through this blog, to be extraordinary and abundant, and has shown how everyone profits when the true principles of freedom and liberty are upheld.
    --Road to Parnassus

    ReplyDelete
  4. fireworks every year on your anniversary! A celebration

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm such a sap,getting a sentimental knot in my throat about this post. Let's hear it for True Love! Kudos and Happy Anniversary, Reggie and Boy!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy anniversary, Reggie and Boy!

    Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  7. Reggie that is Beautiful! Happy Anniversary to you both! Jane Keller

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congratulations Reggie and Boy, at least some of the US allows same sex marriage. In Australia nada,( here the marriage act is a federal act).

    I love the draped (u use of the word, you notice!) flag over the relief of Mr Washington,is it 19th C?

    Also interested to see your father and grandfather wore wedding rings

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy Anniversary. May your lives be filled with love, peace and gladness of heart each and every day.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations Reggie and Boy! What a romantic wedding day -- the birth of your nation and your wedding.

    I saw an amazing fireworks display last night and the couple who did it also married on July 4 and celebrated their 56th anniversary last night. May you and Boy be as happy for so long!

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Happy anniversary...what a special photo of all of the wedding bands! xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Partnerships and marriages - such potential and
    joy! Glad you have a joyous day to celebrate on.
    Gratitude is truly a divine gift.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love that you did it on that day for the fireworks and the celebration! Happy anniversary.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Happy Anniversary! You two are a spectacular couple... brains and beauty on both sides!

    ReplyDelete
  15. A belated very happy anniversary to you both ... and many more to come!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dear Reggie,

    Happy Anniversary to you and darling Boy. While *we* always knew he was part of the family, it is splendid that society has come far enough to legally acknowledge it. May we soon come to be a nation (and world) when the gender of one's spouse is irrelevant, and what counts is the love and support.

    Love,
    Your sister, Hermione

    ReplyDelete
  17. Aw, how wonderful, Reggie! Congratulations to you and Boy, I am (as are all of your readers, I would guess) very happy for both of you. I can only hope that the tide keeps turning in a positive direction in all states.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Reggie and Boy:

    As someone said above, fireworks every year wherever you go!!!! A toast to hoping that your own fireworks are lifelong!!!!!

    Love what you have done to George....I think he's overlooked these days.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Reggie and Boy,
    I now love July fourth even more than I did before reading your post. My husband and I just celebrated our 21 st wedding anniversary . I am thrilled that the two of you have the same joy celebrating your anniversary. I promise you that I will remember you two every year while gazing at the fireworks. I am so happy to have found your blog. Hugs from Charleston!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Happy Anniversary! a very beautiful post.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Happy Anniversary! I like the choice of your wedding date, and I salute you. I hope every day is a celebration.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sending along belated congratulations on your Anniversary! We have all been most blessed by your union! Here's to many, many years of Bliss to You Both!

    (and -- of course -- Many Raised Glasses of Cheer!)

    "For They are Jolly Good Fellows!"

    Indeed.

    Jan

    ReplyDelete
  23. And just think...you will have free fireworks on your anniversary for the rest of your lives...good thinking! Big kiss to both.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Happy Anniversary!

    Mine is Bastille Day, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  25. My goodness, what a lovely post. Thank you, sir.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ...and I say HUZZAH! for you both! I hope you have many years of
    happiness, as my husband and I have enjoyed for 43. One day, perhaps,
    the entire country will see the light.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Blessings to you both and Happy Anniversary!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Congratulations! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Happy anniversary to you both! One of the saddest moments of my life was having to tell my then 5-year-old daughter the reason her godfathers weren't married was because they weren't allowed.

    ReplyDelete
  30. What a very touching post Reggie. I'll never again view another firework display and not think of you and Boy. I married on my husband's birthday so there really is no excuse for him to ever forget our anniversary. I hope you enjoyed your very special day together yesterday - happy anniversary!

    ReplyDelete
  31. beautifully said. congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  32. God bless you, Reggie. I delighted in reading your post.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Congratulations! My spouse, David, and I, were married 20 years ago by a Roman Catholic priest--a good friend--in a private ceremony (obviously, since none of were supposed to be doing what we were doing) on Bastille Day. While the USA doesn't celebrate our nuptials, France does! As my family name is Alsatian, this suffices for me. Since then, we've had a Civil Union, and, finally, a marriage recognized by the state of Connecticut, where we live.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Happy Anniversary Reggie!! I cannot tell you how wonderful it is that you and Boy have found this kind of happiness!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

    ReplyDelete
  35. Reggie
    Have read your blog since day one! I look forward to your wonderful writing style but Boy's photos are the added touch.
    You are a devoted couple and it shows!
    As we say in Georgia.....Bless your hearts..
    Becky

    ReplyDelete
  36. First and foremost, happy anniversary to you!! I'm so glad you have been able to realize what so many of us take for granted.
    Second, it is my anniversary as well - and I must agree with you, what a wonderfully significant day to choose as your wedding day. I hope it was a relaxing day for you both.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Happy Anniversaries! After 22 years together we too were "married", because the law in Britain allowed such a thing. Now in our 27th year...it's a lifetime, and I thank my lucky stars for two lives lived in one. As your sister Hermione said: "May we soon come to be a nation (and world) when the gender of one's spouse is irrelevant, and what counts is the love and support."

    Seriously. She, you and I, and all those giving our support today look in bewilderment at those who try to direct lives otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  38. To paraphrase George M. Cohan- " Two real life nephews of our Uncle Sam, wed on the 4th of July" !!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Beautiful and congratulations! Continue to live happily and stylishly every after. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  40. Congratulations on the Fete and Happy Anniversary to you and Boy!

    Bring on the fireworks!!! Gosh.. what a backdrop for a party!!

    Finally there are some movement toward freedom, that is much talked about in this country, but not acted upon as frequently as one would expect.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Happy Anniversary! How marvelous that you were married on Independence Day! "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Here's to you both, for pursuing your happiness!

    ReplyDelete
  42. What a lovely post. Congratulations to you and Boy on your anniversary, and may you have many, many more happy years together!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Congratulations!Love the fact you have your Fathers and Grandfathers rings!!!!!!I celebrated an anniversary right after yours on the 5th of July!26 years.........My saint day is the 4th!Saint Elizabeth always a special day for me too!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I loved this post so much that I have shared it on my Google+ page. You are so articulate, and this post seems straight from your heart. I look forward to all your posts (and love the photos!).

    Congratulations to you and Boy. And I'll heartily second your sister's comments, as well.
    Warmly,
    Kay

    ReplyDelete
  45. Dearest Reggie,
    I am still amazed and happy about the unbelievably swift social changes that have occurred to make it possible for my beloved youngest brother to openly wed dearest Boy.
    Happy Anniversary and Much Love to you Both,
    Camilla

    ReplyDelete
  46. Happy Anniversary Reggie and Boy! I live in relatively progressive Toronto Canada. I wish you many happy years together!

    ReplyDelete
  47. You have just melted my heart Reggie, what a beautiful post, I am so glad that you found each other. The photograph of the three generations of rings is very moving.

    ReplyDelete
  48. What a lovely post. Wishing you both a very happy anniversary. I love the photo of three generations of wedding rings. Superb! All best.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Congratulations and many happy years are wished to you and Boy.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Well thought out, on your anniversary every year there are fireworks where ever you go. I hope you tell your beloved that they are just for him.
    Happy Anniversary and I am happy we live in a time that I can say that to you and your husband.
    xo, MB

    Sorry it took so long to comment, I would type it hit publish and it would just disappear over and over.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Tears in my eyes. Happy anniversary, Reggie and Boy, now and forever! Love always, Bits xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  52. Happy Anniversary Reggie and Boy!

    I think the Fourth of July is a perfect day for a wedding/anniversary.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh dahhing, never too late I hope for a belated "Congratulations" on your anniversary. No doubt your dahhling Boy & you celebrated in high style.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Wishing you and Boy congratulations and many more years together!

    ReplyDelete
  55. "Marriage," you say?

    So when will you and Boy Fenwick be procreating with each other? When will the two of you have biological children of your own to pass your father's and grandfather's wedding rings on to?

    P.S. to Daniel Barr: Whoever performed your ceremony, he was not an actual, believing, obedient Catholic priest. The Catholic church, for all its faults, is crystal clear on that subject.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So, what's it to you, Mr. "Normal Guy" if I do get married? Following your logic, all couples, whether straight or gay, should be denied the ability to get married unless the end result is children... Last I checked, that would mean anyone over the age of 50 would be denied the right to marry. If you don't support gay marriage, "Normal Guy," then I suggest you don't marry gay. Reggie

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    3. Hey "Normal Guy" -- I posted, and then deleted your jacked-up follow-on response because this blog is not the place for lunatic ramblings such as yours. Please take your screeds elsewhere, and don't come back to this blog. Reggie

      Delete
  56. Many, Many, Many belated congratulations. David.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I love this post, it made me very happy.

    ReplyDelete

Please do comment! I welcome and encourage them, and enjoy the dialogue.