Sunday, March 30, 2014

Watch Your Language, Please!

I've got to get something off my chest, Dear Reader.  I am supremely weary of hearing people drop the F-bomb.  It seems that almost every place I go these days I hear someone using it over and over in casual conversations, in restaurants, at work, in stores, everywhere.


It's almost as prevalent as the mind-numbing use of "like," "uh," and "um" as conversation filler.  But it is far worse.  While those three words may be grating to listen to when repeated endlessly in conversation, they are but tedious only.  Flagrant use of the F-word, on the other hand, is rightly frowned upon by people of refinement and banned from broadcast airwaves (at least for now) for a reason: it is intensely and vividly vulgar.  I believe its use should be reserved for situations and circumstances that are either private or where the speaker has been provoked to the point of explosion. And it most certainly shouldn't be used within earshot of children.

Don't get me wrong, Dear Reader, Reggie is not a prude.  He has been known to use the F-word himself, along with other pithy Anglo Saxon expletives.  He acknowledges that doing so can at times be very satisfying, indeed.  However, he believes the use of the F-bomb in general conversation today has become so prevalent and gratuitous as to have lost its potency, at least in the minds of those he overhears using it repeatedly and unblinkingly in public.

If they stopped to actually listen to themselves, as Reggie is often forced to against his wishes, he believes they might be surprised to hear how crude and unattractive they sound.  And how unimaginative—can't they think of any other words to use?

Maybe not.  At least that's what he concludes when he casts a gimlet eye on many of those he overhears using it in public.

But that's not always the case, Dear Reader.  Reggie is often surprised when he turns to examine who is speaking so fouly to find that it is a person who should know better.  They have fallen into the habit of using the F-word unthinkingly, with no comprehension that it does not reflect well upon themselves (to say the least), nor do they have any consideration that others might find it unpleasant—if not offensive—to listen to.

When I am out in public, Dear Reader, I do not like hearing other people repeatedly use the F-bomb or other rude expletives, particularly strangers at other tables in restaurants, in lines at stores, in places of entertainment, or while walking about the streets of the city in which I live.  I find it ugly and intrusive.


So I make every effort not to drop the F-bomb or use other obscenities in public.  Sometimes I slip up, though, because I am far from perfect.  But I try to be sensitive to the fact that there are people within listening distance who may find such language offensive, and so I refrain from using it in public whenever possible.

I think the world would be a better place if more of us did the same, too.

Tell me, Dear Reader, what do you think?

60 comments:

  1. I completely agree! It is vulgar; and exceedingly rude.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Reggie, That is another advantage of living abroad--there is not so much profanity, or perhaps my Chinese is just not up to the more extreme levels.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I definitely agree. when I first joined facebook, I was surprised at the number of people who wrote it in casual posts and there was no compelling reason to use that kind of vulgarity. I commented about it and said the my mom told me that people who have good vocabularies don't have to use curse words in every conversation because they have knowledge of many words that fit better. I use it occasionally, but I do so in private when I am angry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I de-friended my nephew because his posts were littered with f bombs. And i love him!

      Delete
    2. Ugh, there is just no excuse for writing it!

      Delete
  4. It's useful to lower blood pressure occasionally, to let off some steam, but in conversation it always stands out to me. I don't really hear what that person is saying because when that comes out of their mouth all I can think of is "am I so uncool? Or is it that person who is uncool?" I really think society would be a nicer place if people had old fashioned social mores.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read a very interesting study. It used to be thought by expressing anger; it mitigated it!

      No, actually.....expressing anger actually increases it! Good thing to know. Behave in a civilized way. Your blood pressure will go down. There is never an excuse to use this word in public. Never. I get to say that because I am old!!

      There isn't really any excuse whatsoever. (by yourself say whatever you wish; in the company of others; no excuse)!

      Delete
  5. I agree wholeheartedly. It is common and extremely vulgar.

    Somehow what was once considered the most serious of expletives has become an adjective deemed suitable by some for use anytime and anywhere. Perhaps because such frequent use has rendered the word less forceful, some people feel free to use it multiple times in a single sentence. It makes me think less of them.

    One of the first rules I learned as a child was to think of those around me before I did or said anything because I didn't want to cause offense or hurt inadvertently. Those individuals to whom you refer aren't thinking of anyone save themselves and the impression they think they're making.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How lovely. You were taught empathy at an early age! You are a gift to the world!

      Delete
  6. Reggie
    I agree with you !! The F bomb is heard everywhere and I too am tired of hearing people using it for all ears to hear. Well said ...
    Becky in South Georgia

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yep. You hit the nail on the head here.

    Best Regards,

    Heinz-Ulrich von B.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My late mother always taught me that the use of profanity indicated only that the speaker lacked vocabulary. And, I would add, imagination.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep. My maternal grandmother used to say something very similar. And I think it is largely still true now.

      Best Regards,

      Heinz-Ulrich von B.

      Delete
  9. I am in total agreement with you, Reggie. I, too, have used the F word in anger, but seldom as all eight parts of speech in casual conversation! Angela Muller

    ReplyDelete
  10. I heartily agree. Although both my sons will readily tell that they learned all their cuss words at mother's knee, I like to think I use these words and expressions selectively, to add savor to life's more emotional moments.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear Reggie,
    Thanks for this post. I dislike hearing the f-word and refrain from using it . Swearing is done so casually today that certain words have lost their meaning, although not their ability to offend. The only use a casual f-bomb has is as a social cue. I have no interest in getting to know the casual cusser and so I quickly exit the conversation in search of interesting folks to chat with elsewhere in the room. A loud man two tables away dropped f-bombs today during brunch. Trying to be charitable ( it is Sunday), I assumed he was either mentally deranged or on parole.
    Yours,
    Douglas

    ReplyDelete
  12. I rarely use it nowadays, but I do on occasion. If it's in front of someone I don't know, I always apologize!

    When I was in sales, however, I cursed like a sailor;).

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am in total agreement. On my job sites, I have two rules: only one person at a time is allowed to panic (usually me) and unless you are seriously injured you are forbidden the use the f word.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've found that the company one keeps can have more influence on one's language than one would care to admit - especially noticeable if changing industries for example. I spent some time working in construction while finishing my undergraduate degree, and never have I heard so many sentences with every 2nd or 3rd word being some conjugation of the F-Bomb

    For my part I do my best make my cursing either a) below my breath volume or b) substitute terms with less offensive or more unusual ones - I have in some cases apologized during a conversation for letting a wayward 4-letter word slip through.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yes, people use it too much. But what I really find annoying, is when someone uses phrases they think are popular, like "Duh", "Ya Think?, "Chill," "Word," or "There ya go." I guess I'm an old fogey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I guess I am an old fogey also! All of those ; and add "curate", "pop", and after "Thank you!"
      instead of "You're welcome: "My Pleasure"; "no worries", "no problem"; and the worst of all to me....."Of course!!" HUH???

      Delete
  16. Heartily agree. I absolutely hate to hear cursing in public, including office situations. Lunch at one of my favorite spots was ruined by a loud, foul-mouthed diner recently. It makes me sad that certain words once reserved for extreme anger or frustration or loss of control are now common in every sense of that word.

    ReplyDelete
  17. In my humble opinion, it is just above talking on a cellphone in a store or restaurant.I'm no prude myself, but, please. It used to be something called manners...

    ReplyDelete
  18. I got in the bad habit of using it in the UK where it is liberally littered throughout all conversation. I will try and eliminate it from my vocabulary.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear Reggie,
    I could not agree more. As WIlliam of Wykeham said, 'It is by politeness, etiquette and charity that society is saved from falling into a heap of savagery'.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Darling Reggie,

    Yes, we agree! Sadly, we feel that this along with countless other examples of bad manners are now so prevalent that one can scarcely avoid them unless one becomes a hermit. What to do?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Great post RD !
    Perhaps this usage is the result of our trying to adjust to
    the insanity of our techno-modern age? A really well dressed and groomed person stands better, sits up, behaves and speaks properly...just like mama always said!
    DF

    ReplyDelete
  22. And I notice there is a dramatic uptick in the use of the "F" bomb north of the Mason Dixon. Use of it down south, especially in company, is still unacceptable, although slowly it is creeping in here and there. Loved every word of your post, Reggie.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Reggie I agree completely and it does make me wonder if those offending people have trouble putting an intelligent sentence together.

    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena

    ReplyDelete
  24. I remember the first time I heard MD curse - I was a teenager and she said "Hot Damn!" which I thought very funny but also a bit shocking. I don't believe I ever heard her use the "F-bomb". I have made a conscious effort to purge my vocabulary, but the one word I regret losing is to refer to someone as a "F***wit". Somehow lackwit just doesn't express the monumental contempt of F***wit...

    Hermione

    ReplyDelete
  25. You are so right! I think it is an intrusion into others peaceful existence and should be reserved for use in private or even better - not at all!

    ReplyDelete
  26. On the money again RD. Only seconds ago, I heard a City Streets & Sanitation worker thunderously bellow an F-bomb infused message to a fellow gold-bricker.
    Perhaps Darlington might one day be transformed into a Jo from Little Women like finishing school for these middle-aged ragamuffins.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am of mixed opinion as I adore the way -and I am being delicate here out of respect- the "f word" fits into almost every part of a sentence. I enjoy how it trips off the end of my tongue in every mood and affect. The F Word never fails me- and perhaps that is the problem with it, use of it is selfish! A momentary lapse of vocabulary to quell a raging tiger of emotion or express an adult feeling with an adult word. O! The satisfaction of the F followed by the UH of the u then the hard k sound of the ending ck. It was so forbidden in my youth, now I can utter it whenever and wherever.... Please forgive my trespass of this most beloved word as I shant give it up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay with me! Just don't ever be in a restaurant; of a hallway; or a house with others!
      It does show; (as another commenter said: your lack of vocabulary)!!

      Say it as often as you want by yourself. Otherwise; you are polluting . Just like throwing trash on the street; on the lawn...or the highway !! I beg you! Please don't do any of those things!!
      You go for it! Just keep it to yourself! PLEASE!! I politely ask!!

      Delete
    2. By the way!! Have a great time using this word out of earshot of innocent people who do NOT WANT to hear it!

      Good luck! Bravo

      Delete
    3. Oh, I forgot to say.......no wonder you are "anonymous"!

      how apropos!! Typical of all bullies!

      Delete
    4. I agree. And I would much rather hear the actual fuck-word than "effing". If one doesn't want to say the word than use another word, such as freaking, not the verb form of a letter.

      Delete
  28. The f word doesn't make me cringe nearly as much as at the C word, especially if it is directed at me.

    I also dont like the word like used as every second word either, though I dont think it is as prevalent here as in US .

    ReplyDelete
  29. in my country it is common usage now, and I don't find it offensive at all, except around children.
    Janey

    ReplyDelete
  30. I find it intolerable, I think it's one thing to express yourself that way at home in private, but just a few weeks back I had to ask the gym staff to stop f -ing at every second word - it was hurting my ears and sullying the atmosphere - they looked at me as if I was an 18th century matron, I think it's unacceptable in a public environment.

    ReplyDelete
  31. What both saddens and baffles me, is the use of the word in the corporate work world. And those who really know how to toss it around get applauded and promoted. Different rules for different people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I've found in my current workplace that the more senior women throw it around as if to say 'look how cool I am!'. I just think it's inappropriate in the workplace. There's a time and a place... (The opening scene of Four Weddings and a Funeral is one of the places where it works).

      Delete
  32. Reggie, a very timely and well received post. I too am weary of hearing it and reading it. I have been amazed at the number of times I have read it in design blogs written by women no less. The most prevalent way the authors get by with it is the WTF instead of using the word. I even listened to a prominent architect being interviewed on a podcast and he too gave way to the insidious compulsion to use the word. Thanks for writing this post. You said in a very refined way what should have been said and written by many much sooner.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I must agree. In fact, where it seems to be a prevalent vocabulary word in today's movies, I often find the grimacing I do leads me to change the channel. I'm especially offended when I hear the young, especially girls utter the word. I think the "R" ratings on movies should be more for profanity than violence. Sad that we've so gotten used to the violence! I don't think it is a word that should be uttered in public places or around children who repeat everything they hear. I fear that the battle is lost though and don't hold up much hope especially if it is so accepted in hip hop lyrics and among Hollywood celebrities.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yes!!! Thank you. My thoughts exactly. I cannot believe that with all of the very explicit words to use in the English language--the "F" word is used almost exclusively--lazy!
    Mary

    ReplyDelete
  35. The fifth comment, and the first reply to the fourth comment, appear to be contradictory but they are not, and I agree with them both. Penelope is incontrovertibly correct to advise against venting anger, which would deprive the use of this unobjectionable but very specific term of its only nominal excuse; and Janet is so right to lament its utter depletion in misuse. You raise a question of conservation, not only of mores but of the lavish resource of language. Possibly more discourteous than negligently wounding feelings, is the squandering of this great wealth and the refusal to share it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm afraid I disagree, but perhaps my English ears are less delicate. I find a well-placed swear word in an otherwise erudite vocabulary rather like the contrast of salt with chocolate.

    But then we posh British types are infamous for our schoolboy sniggering humour.

    I particularly love it when the vicar swears. It is both delicious and effective.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anglo-Saxon words are great because they are short and explosive. Sadly, we do often fall on what is easiest. Even more sadly, wonderful words lose their effect and join the mush pool of the few dozen words we use over and over.
    Does make for a less interesting verbal tapestry.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love the word, but use it sparingly to make sure it retains its force. Mostly, I find a good, hearty "Demnit!" to suffice. Strong language should be retained for strong situations.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I could not agree more. To my 80 something year old ears, irregardless of who says it from where, it still id vulgar. I can only imagine the responses and/or actions I would have received had I uttered such in my younger days. The height of coarseness.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Thank you!.. I was beginning to think I was the only one who objected. My worry is that it is a symptom of deeper issues in society. We have lost nearly all appreciation of good manners in public and in private. Expressing frustration in such vile terms even mild frustration indicates a broad based anger, in my opinion. It is so common and so ugly it makes me think people have such low self esteem and lack of respect for others that they just don't care about very much in this world. I know of no reason to use that word in public. It makes people look uncivil and represents total disregard for others.

    ReplyDelete
  41. To everything there is a season....
    a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.

    Continual usage in place of informative language is annoying whatever the word, or phrase used to pause in a sentence.

    In some cultures, including the one in which I live, losing one's temper is considered bad manners. Most conversations delivered in the tone we use in the West would be considered impolite. But sometimes it is necessary to be "impolite" to make a point. But, like all things, best used wisely and sparingly, if at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, you might enjoy this:

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2600502/Please-use-education-appropriately-Proofreading-takes-five-minutes-keeps-looking-stupid-English-teachers-hilarious-red-pen-response-pupils-expletive-laced-letter.html

      Delete
  42. It is surprising, is it not, that some think an expensive pair of shoes or handbag can elevate one to a 'higher class' but be oblivious that vulgar language is a more readable signpost?

    I am no prude, either, but let's do save expletives for the most effective and appropriate use.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Amen! Thank you so much for validating my disdain for that word!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you! That word and most swear are totally unnecessary. The point can be made with many other acceptable words.
    Janice

    ReplyDelete
  45. I am quite fond of my cuss words, but I try to use them sparingly, so they keep their impact; and in appropriate settings, a bar versus work.

    But I'm very disappointed that some commenters think it's worse for women to use cuss words than men. I find sexism far worse than cuss words.

    ReplyDelete

Please do comment! I welcome and encourage them, and enjoy the dialogue.

Related Posts with Thumbnails