Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Reggie's Independence

Today, July 4th, is a very special day for me, Dear Reader.  It marks Independence Day, one of the most important holidays of this Nation.  And it is also the day that I married, three years ago, my most beloved spouse, Boy Fenwick.

My grandfather's wedding ring
My father's wedding ring
My wedding ring

Today is our anniversary.

I never thought that I would marry.  I never thought that I would be able to marry.  That is, unless it was a marriage of convenience or "mariage blanc," an option I never considered seriously.  I am what was once referred to as "not the marrying kind," with a cynical wink and a knowing smile.

Well, no longer, thank you very much.

Something happened in this country that I never would have imagined possible, that people of "my kind" would be accorded, at least in some enlightened states, the right to marry spouses of the same sex.  Incredible, yes, but true.

And for those of us who thought that we would always be the ones left on the outside, as I did, always looking in as an outsider at the honeyed inner circle of those whose relationships were sanctioned and approved of under the bands of matrimony, unlike mine, it was a dream come true.

A slightly weird dream—I must admit—because even to this day I'm still somewhat surprised that I married a guy instead of a gal.  But I did, and I am most grateful that I was able to, and proud that I did.

A bas relief of George Washington
surmounted by the American flag
at Darlington House

Boy and I were married by a Justice of the Peace in Massachusetts three years ago today with our closest friends George Pinckney, Jasper Lambert, Francesca Montmore, and Hazel Hazaga at our sides.  Afterwards we repaired to Darlington House and celebrated the blessed union with a lobster dinner and an impromptu dance party that lasted into the wee hours of the night.

Boy and I chose to marry on Independence Day, Dear Reader, because of its significance as the day when our Founding Fathers declared our fledgling Nation's independence from the tyranny of Mother England.  Just as our own marriage declared, I believe, Boy's and my independence from the tyranny and oppression from the world that once told us that we did not, would never have, and were not worthy of the same right to marriage as our own brothers and sisters, and our own fathers and mothers.

2012 Macy's fireworks display
Image courtesy of bestofnj.com

I also chose this day to marry, Dear Reader, because I knew that the rest of our Nation would always join me each and every year on my anniversary, whether they realized it or appreciated it or not, with a joyous explosion of fireworks on every shore, village green, and byway in celebration and recognition that we all live here in the United States of America as one Nation, united with liberty and justice for all.

God bless America.

Photographs, unless noted, by Boy Fenwick

66 comments:

  1. God bless you both!! I have asked the Celt to marry me - he's thinking it over.

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  2. I feel your joy and wish you both a very merry and happy anniversary.
    many many more.
    pve

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  3. Happy Anniversary, Reggie and Boy. Your life together has proven, through this blog, to be extraordinary and abundant, and has shown how everyone profits when the true principles of freedom and liberty are upheld.
    --Road to Parnassus

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  4. fireworks every year on your anniversary! A celebration

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  5. I'm such a sap,getting a sentimental knot in my throat about this post. Let's hear it for True Love! Kudos and Happy Anniversary, Reggie and Boy!

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  6. Happy anniversary, Reggie and Boy!

    Michelle

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  7. Reggie that is Beautiful! Happy Anniversary to you both! Jane Keller

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  8. Congratulations Reggie and Boy, at least some of the US allows same sex marriage. In Australia nada,( here the marriage act is a federal act).

    I love the draped (u use of the word, you notice!) flag over the relief of Mr Washington,is it 19th C?

    Also interested to see your father and grandfather wore wedding rings

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  9. Happy Anniversary. May your lives be filled with love, peace and gladness of heart each and every day.

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  10. Congratulations Reggie and Boy! What a romantic wedding day -- the birth of your nation and your wedding.

    I saw an amazing fireworks display last night and the couple who did it also married on July 4 and celebrated their 56th anniversary last night. May you and Boy be as happy for so long!

    xo

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  11. Happy anniversary...what a special photo of all of the wedding bands! xx

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  12. Partnerships and marriages - such potential and
    joy! Glad you have a joyous day to celebrate on.
    Gratitude is truly a divine gift.

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  13. I love that you did it on that day for the fireworks and the celebration! Happy anniversary.

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  14. Happy Anniversary! You two are a spectacular couple... brains and beauty on both sides!

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  15. A belated very happy anniversary to you both ... and many more to come!

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  16. Dear Reggie,

    Happy Anniversary to you and darling Boy. While *we* always knew he was part of the family, it is splendid that society has come far enough to legally acknowledge it. May we soon come to be a nation (and world) when the gender of one's spouse is irrelevant, and what counts is the love and support.

    Love,
    Your sister, Hermione

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  17. Aw, how wonderful, Reggie! Congratulations to you and Boy, I am (as are all of your readers, I would guess) very happy for both of you. I can only hope that the tide keeps turning in a positive direction in all states.

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  18. Reggie and Boy:

    As someone said above, fireworks every year wherever you go!!!! A toast to hoping that your own fireworks are lifelong!!!!!

    Love what you have done to George....I think he's overlooked these days.

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  19. Reggie and Boy,
    I now love July fourth even more than I did before reading your post. My husband and I just celebrated our 21 st wedding anniversary . I am thrilled that the two of you have the same joy celebrating your anniversary. I promise you that I will remember you two every year while gazing at the fireworks. I am so happy to have found your blog. Hugs from Charleston!

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  20. Happy Anniversary! a very beautiful post.

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  21. Happy Anniversary! I like the choice of your wedding date, and I salute you. I hope every day is a celebration.

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  22. Sending along belated congratulations on your Anniversary! We have all been most blessed by your union! Here's to many, many years of Bliss to You Both!

    (and -- of course -- Many Raised Glasses of Cheer!)

    "For They are Jolly Good Fellows!"

    Indeed.

    Jan

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  23. And just think...you will have free fireworks on your anniversary for the rest of your lives...good thinking! Big kiss to both.

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  24. Happy Anniversary!

    Mine is Bastille Day, lol!

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  25. My goodness, what a lovely post. Thank you, sir.

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  26. ...and I say HUZZAH! for you both! I hope you have many years of
    happiness, as my husband and I have enjoyed for 43. One day, perhaps,
    the entire country will see the light.

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  27. Blessings to you both and Happy Anniversary!

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  28. Congratulations! Well done!

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  29. Happy anniversary to you both! One of the saddest moments of my life was having to tell my then 5-year-old daughter the reason her godfathers weren't married was because they weren't allowed.

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  30. What a very touching post Reggie. I'll never again view another firework display and not think of you and Boy. I married on my husband's birthday so there really is no excuse for him to ever forget our anniversary. I hope you enjoyed your very special day together yesterday - happy anniversary!

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  31. beautifully said. congratulations!

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  32. God bless you, Reggie. I delighted in reading your post.

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  33. Congratulations! My spouse, David, and I, were married 20 years ago by a Roman Catholic priest--a good friend--in a private ceremony (obviously, since none of were supposed to be doing what we were doing) on Bastille Day. While the USA doesn't celebrate our nuptials, France does! As my family name is Alsatian, this suffices for me. Since then, we've had a Civil Union, and, finally, a marriage recognized by the state of Connecticut, where we live.

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  34. Happy Anniversary Reggie!! I cannot tell you how wonderful it is that you and Boy have found this kind of happiness!

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena

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  35. Reggie
    Have read your blog since day one! I look forward to your wonderful writing style but Boy's photos are the added touch.
    You are a devoted couple and it shows!
    As we say in Georgia.....Bless your hearts..
    Becky

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  36. First and foremost, happy anniversary to you!! I'm so glad you have been able to realize what so many of us take for granted.
    Second, it is my anniversary as well - and I must agree with you, what a wonderfully significant day to choose as your wedding day. I hope it was a relaxing day for you both.

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  37. Happy Anniversaries! After 22 years together we too were "married", because the law in Britain allowed such a thing. Now in our 27th year...it's a lifetime, and I thank my lucky stars for two lives lived in one. As your sister Hermione said: "May we soon come to be a nation (and world) when the gender of one's spouse is irrelevant, and what counts is the love and support."

    Seriously. She, you and I, and all those giving our support today look in bewilderment at those who try to direct lives otherwise.

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  38. To paraphrase George M. Cohan- " Two real life nephews of our Uncle Sam, wed on the 4th of July" !!

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  39. Beautiful and congratulations! Continue to live happily and stylishly every after. xoxo

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  40. Congratulations on the Fete and Happy Anniversary to you and Boy!

    Bring on the fireworks!!! Gosh.. what a backdrop for a party!!

    Finally there are some movement toward freedom, that is much talked about in this country, but not acted upon as frequently as one would expect.

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  41. Happy Anniversary! How marvelous that you were married on Independence Day! "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Here's to you both, for pursuing your happiness!

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  42. What a lovely post. Congratulations to you and Boy on your anniversary, and may you have many, many more happy years together!

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  43. Congratulations!Love the fact you have your Fathers and Grandfathers rings!!!!!!I celebrated an anniversary right after yours on the 5th of July!26 years.........My saint day is the 4th!Saint Elizabeth always a special day for me too!!!!!!!

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  44. I loved this post so much that I have shared it on my Google+ page. You are so articulate, and this post seems straight from your heart. I look forward to all your posts (and love the photos!).

    Congratulations to you and Boy. And I'll heartily second your sister's comments, as well.
    Warmly,
    Kay

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  45. Dearest Reggie,
    I am still amazed and happy about the unbelievably swift social changes that have occurred to make it possible for my beloved youngest brother to openly wed dearest Boy.
    Happy Anniversary and Much Love to you Both,
    Camilla

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  46. Happy Anniversary Reggie and Boy! I live in relatively progressive Toronto Canada. I wish you many happy years together!

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  47. You have just melted my heart Reggie, what a beautiful post, I am so glad that you found each other. The photograph of the three generations of rings is very moving.

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  48. What a lovely post. Wishing you both a very happy anniversary. I love the photo of three generations of wedding rings. Superb! All best.

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  49. Congratulations and many happy years are wished to you and Boy.

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  50. Well thought out, on your anniversary every year there are fireworks where ever you go. I hope you tell your beloved that they are just for him.
    Happy Anniversary and I am happy we live in a time that I can say that to you and your husband.
    xo, MB

    Sorry it took so long to comment, I would type it hit publish and it would just disappear over and over.

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  51. Tears in my eyes. Happy anniversary, Reggie and Boy, now and forever! Love always, Bits xoxo

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  52. Happy Anniversary Reggie and Boy!

    I think the Fourth of July is a perfect day for a wedding/anniversary.

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  53. Oh dahhing, never too late I hope for a belated "Congratulations" on your anniversary. No doubt your dahhling Boy & you celebrated in high style.

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  54. Wishing you and Boy congratulations and many more years together!

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  55. "Marriage," you say?

    So when will you and Boy Fenwick be procreating with each other? When will the two of you have biological children of your own to pass your father's and grandfather's wedding rings on to?

    P.S. to Daniel Barr: Whoever performed your ceremony, he was not an actual, believing, obedient Catholic priest. The Catholic church, for all its faults, is crystal clear on that subject.

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    Replies
    1. So, what's it to you, Mr. "Normal Guy" if I do get married? Following your logic, all couples, whether straight or gay, should be denied the ability to get married unless the end result is children... Last I checked, that would mean anyone over the age of 50 would be denied the right to marry. If you don't support gay marriage, "Normal Guy," then I suggest you don't marry gay. Reggie

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    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    3. Hey "Normal Guy" -- I posted, and then deleted your jacked-up follow-on response because this blog is not the place for lunatic ramblings such as yours. Please take your screeds elsewhere, and don't come back to this blog. Reggie

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  56. Many, Many, Many belated congratulations. David.

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  57. I love this post, it made me very happy.

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