Reggie's Rules for Those Who (Still) Smoke

As readers of this blog may remember, Reggie is no stranger to the pleasures of smoking cigarettes.  I was for many years a sometime social smoker and only gave up the evil habit after more futile attempts to do so than I'd care to admit.  Fortunately I succeeded in my efforts to quit smoking once and for all more than five years ago, and today I am what I consider to be a former smoker.  Not a non-smoker, mind you, but an ex-smoker.  Once a confirmed smoker, I believe one can never regain one's status as a non-smoker, but will always (at least if one is successful at it) be an ex-smoker.  It's like drinking: once a drunk, always a drunk, whether wet or dry.

Reggie in his younger days, enjoying a restorative smoke

Even though I gave up smoking cigarettes regularly years ago, I'm not immune to lighting one up every once in a great while at a party (whether in my own house or someone else's) if a pack is brought out and offered 'round.  But I generally need to be fairly soused and among the company of other smokers, a rarity in the circles I run in these days.  I'm the type that needs a ring leader to bring me into the fray: you know the kind, the ones who slyly bring out a pack at a dinner party once the dishes have been cleared and says "Mind if I smoke?" and everyone else at the table responds "Mind? Not if I can have one, too!" and then happily settles into an evening of boozing and smoking, having an absolutely lovely time of it.

Until the next morning, that is, when one awakes with a cigarette hangover and wonders "What was I thinking?"

Not all that long ago, it was considered socially
acceptable to smoke at dinner parties

So, for those of you who may question under what authority Reggie speaks when it comes to the behavior of and rules for smokers, I believe I have the smoking credentials to spell out what I believe are the rules by which smokers should abide in today's increasingly rabid anti-smoking world.  I'm not expecting you to agree with all of these rules in all cases, Dear Reader, but please do read them and give them some thought.  I'd be interested to hear from you, too, as to whether you think I've missed one or two, or am wide of the point in one or two cases.

Bars, booze, and butts: a match made in Heaven

Before I get to the rules, however, I'd like to share that I think the whole anti-smoking thing has gone too far here in America, and more recently in Europe.  Sacré bleu, that one cannot light up a cigarette in a restaurant in Paris anymore!  As far as I'm concerned, people should at least be allowed to smoke in bars and nightclubs, and even in certain grown-up restaurants that are large enough and well-ventilated enough to be able to support having a smoking section.  I'm fine with there being non-smoking restaurants for those that can't abide secondhand smoke, but I think there should be some choice in the matter, too—what's the harm in allowing a restaurateur the choice whether or not to have a smoke-free place?  I don't buy into the view that it isn't fair to non-smoking employees and other patrons of such establishments to be exposed to secondhand smoke.  Vote with your feet.  I don't know all that many people who are exactly forced against their will to work in or go to a bar or club that allows smoking, who don't have any other employment or entertainment choices available to them.  Smoking is the least of the vices available in some of those establishments—at least it was in more than a few of the choicer places I found myself in the wee hours of the night in my younger days.  If you don't want to inhale secondhand smoke, folks, then don't go to or work in a bar!  It's as simple as that.

Needless to say, Reggie does not countenance
encouraging young people to smoke

Now that I got that off my chest, here are my rules for thems that still smokes:

1.  Confine your smoking only to areas and places where it is explicitly allowed

Even though you may find the present-day restrictions on cigarette smoking inconvenient, if not annoying, you must heed such restrictions.  Rules are, after all, rules.

2.  Ask first, before lighting up

Whether in public or private.  It's common courtesy, thank you.

3.  Don't get shirty if someone objects to your smoking

Their rights trump yours.

4.  Take it outside

Unless explicitly condoned, confine your smoking to the great outdoors.

5.  Don't smoke while walking on the street

It is rude to the other people who are out and about, particularly those walking downwind of you, who have no choice but to inhale your secondhand smoke.

6.  Watch it with those ashes!

If you must walk around in public smoking a cigarette, don't do it holding it in such a way that there is any risk that you could brush against someone, leaving ashes on them, or even possibly burn them.  This is a particular pet-peeve of mine when walking along the sidewalks of New York, where I have on more occasions than I care to recollect found myself with someone's cigarette ashes deposited on my sleeve.  And if you do accidentally ash someone, you should apologize profusely for doing so, particularly if the person you've ashed objects to it!

7.  Don't walk around with a cigarette butt hanging out of your mouth, like some kind of Bowery bum

It looks disgusting and down market.

8.  Don't throw a lit cigarette butt onto the sidewalk or the street

It is thoughtless and dangerous, and can burn the feet of those you share the sidewalk with, such as my dear little Pompey.

9.  Dispose of your spent cigarette butts in proper receptacles

Don't just toss them on the streets or sidewalks, or into the bushes, assuming that someone else is going to pick them up after you.  And don't even consider depositing them in a potted plant or planter.  Your spent cigarette butt is litter.  Always dispose of cigarette butts in a trash can or in one of those public ashtrays set out in front of buildings.  If none of those are around, put the damn cigarette butt in your pocket, and dispose of it properly later.

10.  When taking a smoking break from your place of employment, do not hover around the entryway of the building, but rather walk a discrete distance away from it.  

It is decidedly unpleasant for those entering and exiting a building to have to walk through a haze of cigarette smoke in order to do so.  Besides, there's nothing that looks more depraved than seeing a gaggle of smokers sucking on cigarettes outside of a building.

11.  Don't smoke in the car

It is dirty and leaves a vile smell, and is unpleasant for other non-smoking riders trapped in the car with you.

12.  Be thoughtful of the people around you who may not share your love for smoking cigarettes

At the end of the day, this is what it is all about.

And there you have it, Dear Reader, Reggie's rules for those who (still) smoke.  If you must smoke, I suggest that you follow them, both for your sake and for the sake of others.

All photographs courtesy of LIFE Images

The Greatest Accomplishment of My Adult Life

That would be quitting smoking.  It was one of the most challenging and difficult achievements that I can think of.  Of my life.  While I was never a heavy smoker, giving it up took me several years and many false starts before I finally succeeded.  And it was one of the best, if not the best things I’ve ever done.  That is, except marrying Boy.

I kind of miss the good old days, though.

I started dabbling with smoking shortly after college when I took a share in a beach house on Long Island and fell in with a fast, party-boy set.  Cocktails and cigarettes.  Late nights out.  Fun.  The party moved on to Manhattan when the summer was over and I met and then started to date a smoker who enjoyed the hi-life just as much as I did and, well, it’s easy to start smoking on a regular basis under those circumstances . . .

But times and friends and priorities change, and eventually I could no longer deny the cold hard truth that only an idiot destined for an untimely and ungodly death would continue to puff away in this day and age.  And so after more failed efforts than I care to admit I finally quit.

One of the things I enjoyed about smoking, apart from the physical act of doing it, was collecting the paraphernalia available to help one support the habit, such as ashtrays, cigarette boxes, etc.  Known in the collecting world as "Tobacciana", there’s a lot of it out there to choose from ranging from tacky throw-away junk to exquisitely beautiful objects from the likes of Asprey and Cartier.

Over the years I assembled quite a collection by haunting antiques stores and shows, trolling eBay, and always keeping an eye out for interesting examples to add to my collection.  I bought silver cigarette boxes, often engraved with names of long-departed swells, silver ashtrays, and ceramic ashtrays emblazoned with the names of fabled night spots or legendary hotels, such as the Stork Club or Hotel George V.

I collected engraved silver and enameled match box covers, antique match-strikes, and little silver and porcelain cups for holding cigarettes on tables during dinner parties.  I still have them all.  They are too beautiful and have too many fond associations for me to want to get rid of them.  While the ashtrays have long since been stored away in cupboards I haven’t put the silver cigarette boxes away.

We keep them out still, along with the more decorative match boxes and match strikes, since they are really quite lovely to look at and do wonders for table-scapes as well.  Besides, one still needs a place to put matches used to light candles and fires in one’s rooms.

The Richard Rogers' living room at "Rockmeadow"

(note ashtrays and cigarette cups)

Looking through old decorating magazines and books I’m often interested to see that up into the late 1970s ashtrays and cigarettes were almost always seen on tables in the smarter featured residences.  I recently was flipping through my copies of Dorothy Rogers’ My Favorite Things: A Personal Gude to Decorating and Entertaining and The House In My Head, books that I first read with vicarious and thrilling pleasure as a boy, and was surprised to see smoking paraphernalia on virtually every table.  I was also amused to read her helpful suggestion that a successful hostess should always be sure to have plenty of cartons of extra cigarettes on hand for parties.  My, how times have changed.

The same ashtrays and cigarette cups in the living room in their next house

Once a smoker, I’m convinced one can never again become a non-smoker, only an ex-smoker.  It's like drinking -- once a drunk always a drunk, whether wet or dry.  Although I quit smoking long ago it took me several years before I stopped catching myself regularly thinking -- usually with a cocktail in hand -- "Wouldn’t it be great to have a cigarette right now?  Wouldn’t it be terrific to feel that good old nicotine rush again?”  After a while the frequency of these reveries subsided, but I still catch myself thinking the same thing every once in a great while.

To be honest, I could pick up smoking again in a heartbeat and probably would if the consequences weren’t so obviously vile and horrible.  But they are truly awful so I won’t.  However, as I’ve heard other ex-smokers also admit, if I knew I had a finite period to live, perhaps a couple of months only, I’d probably say “Hey, what the hell, why not? What have I got to lose?”  And then reach for that trusty pack of Marlboro Lites once more . . .

All photos, except those of the Rogers' living rooms, by Boy Fenwick.  Photos of the Rogers' living rooms are from "My Favorite Things" and "The House in My Head" by Dorothy Rogers