Thursday, February 24, 2011

We Really Must Get Together Soon!

Have you ever run into someone you haven't seen in a while or don't know very well and they say, "We should get together soon," or "Let's have a drink sometime," and then you never hear from him or her?

I have.  And it is rather a pet peeve of mine.

"Imagine running into you here on Fifth Avenue!"
"Yes, indeed—we really must get together soon!"

I believe that when one makes such statements, which I consider to be quasi-invitations for further social intercourse, that it obligates the person who says it to follow through and make plans.  Otherwise saying such a thing is disingenuous.

I have been the recipient of such statements often enough and have found it sufficiently irritating when there is no follow-through that instead of responding with something as nebulous as "Yes, that would be nice," I now make the point of saying something along the lines of "That is a great idea, let's put it on the calendar right now.  I'm free on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings next week.  Do either of those two dates work for you?"  This usually elicits a somewhat startled response from the person who has so breezily (sort of) issued the (sort of) quasi-invitation for us to get together.  And it is then that I find out whether they actually meant what they said, or if they thought they were giving me a "let 'em down gently" blowoff because they never intended to follow through with it in the first place.

Despite statements they may make to the contrary,
something tells me these two dames have no intention of
getting together for a friendly drink anytime soon . . .

I recently heard through a mutual acquaintance that some friends of ours, a married couple I have known for decades but who we hadn't seen in almost a year, had said that they missed seeing us and hoped to get together with us again soon.  I found that interesting feedback, for the last several times we had seen them was when they were guests at our house, either at parties or when we had them over for dinner, and we hadn't heard from them since.  In other words, we had only seen them when we had made the effort to invite them to get together with us.  That had happened enough times without a return invitation (or even an acknowledgement of any kind from them after we had entertained them) that I had decided to concentrate our social activities on other, more reciprocating friends (see Reggie's Rules for Social Reciprocity, Part I and Part II).  But when I heard what they said through our mutual friend I decided to swallow my pride and reach out to what I now assumed to be our somewhat socially inept friends to arrange to get together.  So I called their telephone number one weekend afternoon, and this is the conversation that I had:

"Hello, it's Reggie calling."

"Oh, hi Reggie, we were just talking about you and Boy the other day, and how we haven't seen you in ages."

"Well, that's why I'm calling, to see if we can get together.  We'd like to have dinner with the two of you in the city one night.  How does your calendar look over the next few weeks?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but X [the spouse of the person I was speaking with] isn't here right now, so I can't make any plans since I don't know what his schedule is."

This struck me as rather odd, since Boy and I routinely commit to social engagements without checking with the other first, with the understanding that we will confirm with the person we are making the plans with afterwards.  In any event, I responded with:

"Well, why don't you discuss it with X when he returns and then call me back with some dates that work for the two of you so we can put something on the calendar?"

"Okay, that sounds like a good idea.  I'll call you."

"Great, I look forward to hearing from you soon."

Needless to say, that conversation, which took place this past October, was the last time I spoke with what I thought had once been a friend and is now what I consider to be a former friend.  Unless I hear from them, which I seriously doubt I will, I suspect that I won't be socializing with them again any time soon.

What is it with people?

I believe it is inappropriate to make empty statements like "We should get together soon" or "I'll call you" and then not follow through on it.  Of course Reggie is a big boy, and understands that not everyone out there wants to socialize with him or be his friend.  And that's just fine with him because he doesn't want to get together with everyone he meets, either.  His social life is already active enough as it is, thank you very much.  Regardless, he firmly believes that it is wrong to issue dangling invitations or make empty promises when one has no intention of following through on them.  He makes every effort never to do so, and he thinks you should, too.

And that's a Reggie Rule.

Photographs courtesy of LIFE Images


  1. A few years ago, I resigned myself to the fact that People Are Flaky. But after a few blown off suggestions to actually schedule something, I'll let the relationship slide. I agree that "we really should get together sometime" is a cop out. If I have no intention of making arrangements to see someone I've run into, I'll just say, "it was so nice to see you, have a great weekend," or something to that effect.

  2. There is one particular (I'll call her acquaintance, instead of friend) every time I happened to bump into her around town, for the last 25 years will say, "Oh, I must make a homemade dinner for you and WT soon!" We have yet to be invited. It's a pet peeve of mine, as well.

  3. Reggie I am in complete agreement. I believe sometimes people say this out of guilt that they have not reciprocated. Or they are just saying it offhand, either way those I words I would rather not hear.

    After all one can always say lets get together next week if you can ( or Month) do you have a day available?

    Art by Karena

  4. wow. if you called me for cocktails or even just a walk about the block, i'd call you right back!

  5. I agree completely! I have had the same experience. Thinking commitment might be an issue, I have tried impromptu, but frankly that is not great for me because I have other obligations that usually require planning ahead. I am afraid I know way too many of The Socially Challenged.

  6. That is a Patsy Rule, too!

    I'm a put-it-on-the-calendar girl, glad I'm not alone in this. I wondered sometimes if I looked a little friendless.

  7. I wish everyone followed Reggie's Rules! It would make social interaction far more pleasant for all involved. This is a pet peeve of mine too. And we all have acquaintances who have no problem accepting our social invitations and do not reciprocate. I have finally grown up enough (largely encouraged by your previous posts on reciprocity) to trim the list to those who care. Thank you for these posts. As they say, if it makes one person think twice before acting this way, you've done a good deed.

  8. I couldn't agree with you more — well said! I never do this and I don't understand why people do. It's so rude and almost hurtful to make a gesture like that and then never follow-up like you really mean it. I find it insulting, very fake and two-faced.

    I never do this and if I say something along those lines without thinking first, I am wracked with guilt if I don't follow through on my words. I'm always at a loss with how to deal with people like that. Perhaps they feel a certain "social" obligation to mutter something, even if they have no intention of following up.

  9. Reggie, you and I are in total agreement. I worked out a long time ago that "we must get together soon" has the opposite meaning, consequently I never use such the phrase. When it is said to me, I simply say goodbye and leave.

  10. Dear Mr. Darling,

    You write about one of life's little wake up calls. I've been there myself and consider the behavior you describe from your "friends" as one of my greatest pet peeves. I now realize that this just separates the wheat from the chaff. Once you've navigated those murky waters, you are then rewarded with the true meaning of friendship.

  11. With today's smartphones, there is no excuse not to make plans immediately. One can see at a glance what appointments one has. Methinks your "friends" are just not interested.

  12. Oh my gosh I SO agree with you. The worst experience I ever had was when a woman I knew called me. She was driving somewhere, and called me just to say she liked me so much and realized it was important that she wanted to spend more time me. OK, I said, how about next week. Spluttering ensued. Needless to say, said get together never occurred. Can you imagine? Respect, people, respect!

  13. Here's a suggestion for another new etiquette rule. If you want to be "Facebook" friends with someone, then you have to acknowledge that person (preferably with a smile, not a cold shoulder) when he/she greets you at your school reunion...or emails to congratulate you on your wedding/new baby/big promotion, etc.

  14. Yes Sir, the hollow invitation which people offer and never intend to execute is annoying. I think we probably all lose a chance for quality interaction because intentions are not converted to actions.

  15. Dearest R, I really find it rather surreal that although the Atlantic Ocean may separate us, our thoughts are so very close. I could not agree more on this topic!

    People who make false invitations must be dropped, instantly. Life is far too short and good friends too numerous to bother with these sorts of individuals.

  16. This is a pet peeve of mine as well. Clearly, some people follow a different set of social rules than the ones I was taught. (Or none at all.)

  17. Oh I could not agree more! SO ANNOYING. I think it sepeaks to a certain self-importance that some have or else just a blatant disregard. I rank it up there with not rsvp'ing to an invitation. I know they're busy, we're all busy, but it only takes 1 second to be polite.

  18. Reggie, I think it boils down to the fact that some people were raised by wolves. They have no breeding and no social skills. I'm finding that a more and more frequent case these days in this rush-rush, push-push society in which we live. It is very irksome. Just know it's not you. As my esteemed mother once said, "They aren't our kind of people." They are boors.

  19. I love this rule, Emily Post should add it to her book!

  20. I have found this to be a Very Richmond trait. When my former husband and I became engaged, some people we did not know very well volunteered to give us an engagement party. And mentioned it each time we ran into them, never making plans, until we were married over a year later.
    We were baffled by the initial offer and even more so by its repetition.
    xox Camilla

  21. I completely agree with you of course, but just for the sake of being devilish, might I suggest having a nose through Surtees' "Mr. Sponge's Sporting Tour", in order to see what happens if your pet peeve is reversed in the extreme.

  22. Reggie,
    I completely agree. My hubby and I find ourselves the host and hostess most often without reciprocation from our guest. Many guest mention an invitation in the future, but never follow up. I've also found very few follow up a visit with a note of thanks. What happened to good ole hospitality?

    I find people make empty promises in many other ways. At work I find myself often helping others, but when I ask for a favor in return I cannot depend on them to follow through. Society as a whole has many problems with committment.

  23. Our most memorable encounter with this sort of behavior was some years ago when, knowing that a young and pleasant acquaintance (born and raised in California, I must add) would be in the City in two weeks, we suggested getting together for dinner. There was an awkward silence, and then a sputtering " but ... I don't know how I'm going to feel . . " ! Sadly, I've come to believe that this "California mentality," as I call it, has spread like a virus. That and people who seem to be holding out for a better offer, or reciprocate by inviting you to a paid event they are sponsoring, or (worst of all) get up after the main course at a very formal sit-down dinner and announce they have theater tickets and have to leave !! By contrast, herding cats can be almost therapeutic.

  24. I agree Reggie...
    We "had" friends who said that they wanted to get together frequently and they always came to us...never invited us back to their the last time it came up that they would like to get together I suggested that it would be nice to pop out and see their recently renovated home and might guess...that was the last time we had any kind of communication whatsoever...they just wanted me/us to facilitate all the food, wine and fun....
    Manners People Manners!

  25. I agree with all comments. But, I am curious about other things we say in polite society which we do not mean. When introduced to someone we say "How do you do?" The proper response is not a litany of ones health and wealth but a reply of "How do you do." Often times, perhaps in passing, we may exchange a greeting of "Hello, how are you?" and again we are not really asking for information. It is a form of greeting. Perhaps, "Lets get together soon" has evolved into a new greeting form. What do you think?

  26. Generalizations are treacherous, but -- hey! -- so is crossing the street. So I will offer these:

    1) Some people seem to want to acquire new friends all their life. Others at some point start to de-accession. (Presumably both groups are familiar with the old saw that it is extremely difficult to acquire intimate friends after one turns 30.)

    2) Sometimes people get dropped not because of anything about themselves, or their relationship with dropee, but simply because the relationship coincides with some painful spot in the dropee's life, which he/she/they no longer wish to be reminded.

    3) As people get older, they get more like themselves -- their personal idiosyncrasies, charming in youth, may become tiresome mannerisms, annoying quirks, or dreadful compulsions. And so the dance card gets re-written.

    4) Sometimes people walk away from even close friendships when they decide they have confided too much about their lives to a friend. (Call this The Midas/Barber Problem.)

    5) At least some people, as they get older, prefer to see friends in a crowd, rather than in some more intimate space -- dinner at home, say. This is another personal idiosyncrasy, and not much should be made of it. Tolerance -- not reciprocity -- is the secret grease of social life.

    (For myself, I am only conscious of having committed this sin once in my life. But it was a long time ago, the man's wife was immensely attractive, I sobered up in the morning, and they got divorced anyway.)

  27. I'd have dinner with "The Ancient" :)

  28. I do agree, Reggie. Although in the interest of full disclosure, I have often felt that if I actaully acted on all my good intentions I would be a better (or certainly more social)friend. That said, we all know what they say about good intentions... I am grateful that I am at an age - finally - where I don't think - too much - about these things.
    Wishing you a lovely weekend,

  29. It used to bother me as well, but now I regard it as a mere figure of
    speech. Rather like that Ruth Draper character in the restaurant.
    " Do let's get together some time. Crazy about your hat!."

  30. The Ancient, such great points and observations!

  31. To North 25A's point. That's the one good thing about getting older. You spend much less time obsessing about other people and their silly behaviour, and just get on with your life. After all, life is too short!

  32. Slim has pulled up a chair at The Ancient's table. I don't know what I'm going to wear yet, but add a chair for me too, please.

  33. The Ancient is so right, unfortunately, it has become a figure of speech.
    Their loss Reggie.

  34. Ancient and Toby, spot-on.

    And when 'we must' happens to me, water off a duck's back. Bad social form maybe, but probably not of evil inent. I usually could have cared less about socializing with the person anyway.

  35. I prefer to use the Sitwellian response.

    Them - Haven't seen you in ages!

    Me - Yes. Rather nice interval, don't you think?

    Them - nervous laughter

    All I can be accused of is saying what I mean and meaning what I say.

  36. Dear Reggie, I'd love to join Slim and Flo at dinner with The Ancient please.

    I totally agree with you. I am guilty of it too though but will always make and keep a date when pinned down.

    Can I please have a Pompey fix soon? I need more pictures.

    Have a fabulous weekend xx

  37. Oh, I adore you. I totally agree with you!

  38. well the Ancient is not the Ancient for nuthin. As you know darling Reggie- I am an "informalist" so I am all lax with the Rules-however- I was just the other day thinking of a painful year of disentangling myself from several friends. We were all much too connected- it could not have ended well and it did not. I knew-like you did it was a done deal in my heart of hearts & it took my 16 year old (at the time) niece to put it in like terms but less eloquently than the A. Don't ever allow me to misuse you So- but don't hold me to the Rules,you being the perfect gentleman I know you to be- will not. pgt

  39. Deja Psu: Thank you, that's good advice.

    Tess: Next time she offers a "homemade dinner" just day "takeout is fine, honey, what time shall we stop by tonight?"

    P-D: Email me, please, when you are next in NYC and we must have that cocktail!

    Devoted: "The Socially Challenged"? I love it! You are much kinder than Reggie who calls 'em somthin' else...

  40. Patsy: You and me both, sister!

    Stephanie: Thanks for the compliment! And readers -- please check out her blog, her photos are gorgeous!

    Anon 11:53: Reggie, too, is wracked with guilt when he blurts out things that he knows he shouldn't, despite his best intentions never to do so.

    Blue: I suppose yours is the better way to go, as mine can be rather awkward.

    LizaE: Thank you, one is constantly attempting to separate the wheat from the chaff, but one is, unfortunately, not as cold hearted as he should be in such matters. That's why I called up my (now) former friends to see if I might make it work, again. But it didn't, and so I move on. I wonder if they will recognize themselves here, as I assume they know that I have a blog and write about such things from time to time?

    SewingLibrarian: Agreed!

    LPC: You nailed it. In the end it is, indeed, about "respect."

  41. Anon 3:24: The lack of social skills that is so rampant in our society today is one of the reasons that Reggie writes this blog, that he may share with his readers his views on these, and other, topics of (he hopes) interest to some. He is most grateful for those who join in in agreement, and also those that at times don't. Thank you for your supportive comment.

    paperwhite: Thank you for your comment. I just visited your pretty blog for the first time, and I look forward to returning to it again soon.

    Sister Dear: It is exactly for the baffling reasons that you cite that Reggie now responds: "That would be lovely, let's put something on the calendar right now!"

    VB: A recommendation from you is something that Reggie takes seriously, so he shall be sure to check out Surtees' tome. Thank you.

    Mamamagnolia: Sad, but true.

    Anon 6:13: "I don't know how I'm going to feel"?! Absolutely jaw-dropping. If I had been able to recover from my shock had they said it to me, I might have answered: "Feel? You show how you'll feel when you 'feel' the slap of my hand on your face that such rudeness merits, chicky!" and then slam down the telephone, never to speak to them again. Unbelievable!

    Hostess: I rest my case.

    Carol: I see your point, but I do not believe that "we must get together soon" of "I'll call you" have become so widespread and accepted as to be entirely devoid of meaning, and nothing more than customary pleasantries. I think that--when the speaker has no intention of following though--they are a lazy and thoughtless "feel good" way of blowing someone off while making the speaker feel as if they are being "nice" when they are, in most cases, not. Thank you for your thought-provoking comment.

  42. Dear Ancient:
    Okay, I had to pause and get a fresh cup of coffee for this one. I hereby give you the prize for leaving the best comments here on Reggie, and that's a high accolade, given the competition. And it's not just here on this post, either, but ever since Reggie began this blog over a year ago. Mighty Zeus, I hail you!

    You, of course, raise many excellent and well-thought out points, and for that I salute you. Let's address each one of them in progression:

    1) As I have written previously, Reggie is a social animal and enjoys meeting new people and making new friends. While he truly values and adores those friends of his of longstanding, he likes mixing up the pot and adding fresh flowers to his bouquet (to mix metaphors) from time to time. It keeps him on his toes (as do your comments, BTW). He recognizes that others may feel differently than he does, and he respects that. That does not extend, however, to those who dangle quasi-invitations or make empty promises of further communication when they have no intention of following through on it!

    2) Interesting point, and well taken. I'd rather hear the truth, though, than get an "I'll call you" blow off. I'm a big boy.

    3) Ah, how true, indeed. I love the reference to the dance card. Most elegant and right on point. You do know how to turn a phrase.

    4) I've seen people walk away from former friends for many reasons, including what you note here. One perhaps doesn't want to be reminded of what one was once, way back when, when perhaps one wasn't so polished as one is now. It is a criticism I understand that former friends, long since dropped, have publicly voiced of a certain Mrs. Bass.

    5) One should, of course, be tolerant of such preferences as you note, particularly when one is notified of them (one is, after all not a mind reader). However, tolerance only goes so far. One must have standards too. I endeavor never to engage in thoughtless or rude behavior, but nor do I feel compelled to tolerate it in others, either.

    To your final comment: Reggie has said things along these lines in the past, too. He hopes, though, that he shall not say them again in the future...

    Thank you Ancient One. I am your most admiring and humble servant, Reggie

  43. Still cogitating on this post of yours, young man. You have raised awareness in my eccentric old hard heart, bitter medicine that it is. This you won't believe: I opened a thank you note from my mailbox yesterday that closed with "we must get together soon, it's been too long" -- I smiled and thought of you [and hoped the writer wouldn't follow through!].

  44. Slim Paley, Christina, and Flo: Such a dinner with the Ancient is the stuff of dreams, isn't it? Ancient--shall we make it a foursome? Ladies and Gentleman: I'm available next tuesday and wednesday evenings, does that work for your calendars? Dates, please!

    North of 25A: Yes, as one navigates the more distant roads of one's life one does become more philosophical about such things. But, Reggie can't help himself--as he gets older he increasingly finds people's rude behavior more difficult to swallow. Oh dear, that sounds rather crotchety and unpleasant, doesn't it?

    Toby W: Most amusing, and thank you for your comment. However, I respectfully beg to differ with your conclusion. Please see my response to Carol, above.

    Sandrajonas: Thank you, but--same as to Toby and Carol, above.

    DED: Naturally one doesn't want to "see" many (if not most, or is it all?) of the people who say such things, but it still rankles me when I hear it nonetheless.

    HOBAC: One does adore your waspish wit! Thank you.

    Christina: Thank you, a Pompey Fix is in the works...

    Hamptontoes: Ah, how lovely to find a kindred spirit--the compliment is returned, m'dear.

    Dear LA: Thank you for your comment. For a lady so gentle as thou, rules are entirely unnecessary, since your disposition and behavior is in every respects thoughtful, polite, and blameless. You are refinement (in the best sense of the word) incarnate.

    Flo: Okay, so you got a thank you note (Rule Number One of Reggie's Rules of Social Reciprocity), yet, the writer said it "has been too long" since they have seen you, indicating the note was not for a social engagement, since that would have required it to have been mailed within a day or two of said event, at least if Reggie's Rules were followed. So, then, said note was a thank you for a gift, perhaps? In any event, whoever sent it to you is clearly crippled by an inconsistent understanding of Reggie's Rules. He urges you to forward the appropriate links to your benighted correspondence at your earliest convenience, so that they may be duly enlightened.

  45. Flo: I meant "correspondent," not "correspondence"

  46. Well, well, well, what do we have here....Another revolution in the palace. Next thing I am going to see is all of you on CNN marching on the streets and gathering in the square!

    So its the Reg vs the's finally come to that. BTW are cocktails being served? vodka on the rocks with a twist, plueeeze.

    Listen up, for I am as ancient probably as his eminence. Both of you are right. Reggie, dearest, you should know by now that remarks such as these are to be taken in stride, particularly with the group you hang out with. It's like Hi, How are you? the only person I know who will actually tell you is an old aunt of mine who will then proceed to tell you EXACTLY how she is, thus we don't ask her anymore.

    Ancient, whilst you are so right as usual, this has nothing to do with it. It's not the motives in question but the hypocrisy of the remark.

    People like Reggie and me (I think we are both Sagittarian, that's why we get along so well) say what we mean and mean what we say, thus we get hurt all the time especially by stuff like this. I got the hang of it a long time ago and merely blow it off and make a mental note. Those people will not grace MY table again, their loss.

    As to dinner with the Ancient, make room ladies and gents for this fox would love to sit at the table and give him a run for his money!

    (family B'day party today but will drop by later on to see what's cooking...keep my chair warm and my drink cold!)

  47. "Slim Paley, Christina, and Flo: Such a dinner with the Ancient is the stuff of dreams, isn't it? Ancient--shall we make it a foursome? Ladies and Gentleman: I'm available next tuesday and wednesday evenings, does that work for your calendars? Dates, please!"

    Well done! [Duly chastened.] Determined, even at this age: aspire to be less Hermit Crone, more Polished Eccentric. I think a new wardrobe, say late-stage Louise Nevelson.

    You set a high bar. Thanks, Reggie.

  48. This pet peeves seems to be particularly present in the US and I have also seen it in Brazil quite a few times. In Europe, conversations are often more sincere in that respect.
    Either I want to hang out with that person and I make plans or I simply do not mention it.

  49. Reggie, to your point above: I, too, am finding the older I get the less tolerant I am to other people's rude behavior. Though, I'm "only" in my early 40s, I think I spent my younger years always trying to win friends by being really nice and letting other people's rudeness go that I'm sick of being so "nice". Do you know what I mean?

  50. Reggie,
    You exhibit remarkable modesty and decorum in the art of social graces which most people have not a clue.
    It used to be a pet peeve until I finally realized that people enjoy my cuisine and company, therefore I just host. During the month of February, I think I broke a record of dinner guests, house guests. I much prefer to "carpe diem" and have an open door to my friends.
    Things like "fondue" or simple Sunday Suppers seem to be so valued and just the fact that you took the time to open one's home.
    I could perhaps sit with my dance card, but I prefer to take the lead.
    "Let's get together soon!"

  51. Lindaraxa: Thank goodness you finally weighed in here, your comments are always ones that I look forward to, and welcome. Reggie certainly understands that such statements are often considered throw-away niceties, and -- like many of those who have commented here (Blue are your ears ringing?) -- he takes it in stride when he hears such comments. But Reggie believes, also, that people should be careful how they speak (on this and many matters) and that what one says should translate into action, otherwise, what good is a person's word? Oh, and "air kiss" right back at you -- Reggie will be careful to not allow his lips to graze your cheek as he is careful never to muss a lady's face when greeting her with affection.

    Flo: Three times in one post? Reggie is honored indeed! Do give a shout when you come through NYC next, as Reggie would adore having a drink with you. He would offer up a date, but he is not able to here since he is not in control of your travel calendar... Dates please!

    Gentleman's Gazette: Exactly! It is far better not to say it than to say it and not mean it!

    Anon 1:12: Do I ever! Thank you for your comment.

    PVE: You bring up several topics that Reggie has thought his way through and shared his views on previously here in this blog. He adores hosting, as he has written in several of his posts, and loves throwing parties and also having intimate dinners at home with friends. There is nothing that gives him greater pleasure than entertaining his friends and he casts a wide net when doing so. He does believe, however, that one of the pleasing benefits of entertaining is that it--in many cases if the recipient of such entertainment is a thoughtful person--often leads to a return invitation, for a social relationship is a two way street, at least the way he defines it. Just as I like entertaining, I like being entertained too, whether it be at a large, formal party, or a small and casual get together. Now, as to your statement "Let's get together soon!" Reggie is fortunate to have met you and knows you to be a charming and clever lady, and not given to making such statements lightly (unlike many). While Reggie's dance card is, he is afraid, rather full through the third week of March, he is generally available afterwards, and would be delighted to "get together" with you, subject to reaching a mutually agreeable date, either in the city or upstate. In fact, he has something specific in mind and will email you about it off line. Thank you...

  52. "Do give a shout when you come through NYC next, as Reggie would adore having a drink with you."

    Thank you, Reggie!

  53. I don't know how I missed this post! AGREE and my only regrets have been in not cutting ties sooner with some "friends". I too love to entertain and take great pleasure in seeing other enjoy themselves, but how does that translate to not reciprocrating on occasion?

    I have one neighbor/friend who says these most annoying phrases so often that with her last utterance of "we must get together soon" I actually said "I don't think so, we are both clearly far too busy to commit." The look on her face is something you would have enjoyed....I know I did. Thankfully, I was saved by my ringing cell phone and quickly excused myself.

  54. Reggie,

    I read somewhere, that in Los Angeles, when they say they "love" you, that it's the kiss of death! Also, that unless you've been to their home for a hot meal, you cannot count them as friends. Interesting foot notes.

  55. I'm late to the conversation--but this is and always will be rule No. 1 for me. Thanks for bringing this to the forefront. Poor manners and fence-sitting are not acceptable.....even here in LA.


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